Your Wife Is More Important Than Your Ministry

I know, before you even say it, sometimes the ministry spouse is a husband.  But I don’t have one of those – so I’m talking about wives.  Maybe there’s a similarity with husbands – if you have one, let me know.

Wives make it or break it.  Ministry, I mean.  A supportive wife who loves God and embraces the ministry call makes ministry an amazingly peaceful and altogether fun job…even when it isn’t.  And conversely, a spouse who isn’t happy about being in ministry and isn’t afraid to show it can make the best of church circumstances feel like a punishment.

Regardless of how you identify your wife on that spectrum, make no mistake.  She is more important than your church or your ministry.  She is more than the best volunteer you ever had.  She is more than the mother of your children who raises them while you work on church stuff.  She’s more than a financial planner who balances the books and makes sure everything gets paid on the penance you make.  She’s more than your dumping ground when things go bad at the deacon meeting.

You know that.  But does she?

When was the last time you guilted free babysitting out of one of your students and took your wife out for a picnic?  When was the last time you sat at the dinner table after the kids have bounded off for homework and electronics (if you’ve eaten dinner with your family at all)  and just looked your wife in the face and listened to her?  Really, REALLY listened.  (Not that half-way crap you call listening.)  When was the last time you did the dishes, swept the dining room, folded the laundry, or made dinner?  When was the last time you whispered into her ear all that she is to you while you rubbed her shoulders or massaged her feet or held her hand…and weren’t trying to get sex?

Your wife is more important than church, church work, or the tasks she performs so that you’re a better minister.  And you better tell her before she forgets…before you forget.

If your wife happens to hang out on the internet, have her check our GlassHouseSpouse for some encouragement in HER role in ministry.

The Timex Standard in Youth Ministry

Have you ever spent an entire week sweating and bleeding and not sleeping alongside teenagers on a mission trip only to return home from the trip to a parent who is 40 minutes late picking them up?  It’s maddening.  We’re physically tired.  We’re spiritually spent.  We love our students and exult in all that God has done over the week…but we’re ready to go home.  We’ve had these kids for a week – the least the parents can do is show up on time, right?

And so the hypocrisy begins.

We internally rail on parents when they show up late to retrieve their students or the group has to wait because someone is running late for departure time.  But we’re also the first to pull out the Holy Spirit when we need to run late during Bible study.  I mean, we can’t rush the things of God – and maybe the Spirit is just thick amongst our students one night.

Or how about this one – we tell parents we’ll be back from the outing at a specific time, but we’re running late because…well, hey, things happen.  We are coordinating an eight car, two passenger van convoy.  And you’d think that fast food restaurant had never served a bus-load of teenagers with an abundance of special orders and a pocket full of pennies before!  Cut us some slack!

Life cannot be ruled by the clock.  Sometimes issues do arise.  Sometimes the Spirit of God does demand additional minutes to complete His work.

And sometimes parents run late picking up their kids.  If we want to hold them to a Timex standard, we better keep an eye on our own pocket watch.  Clocks can be sinister inventions…but they are also powerful communicators about what and WHO matters.