Four years ago I auditioned for NBC’s The Biggest Loser. I thought they were my last and only hope for finally conquering my demons. I got to a final round of callbacks before I was cut. I was devoured in that one simple phone call filled with disappointment. This is my audition video from 2009. And as I re-watched it, I realized….I haven’t lost all the weight, but I definitely have lost the crazy! It’s a journey to wholeness….and I’m excited to be on it.
Lots of fat people watch it. Even healthies tune in. NBC’s The Biggest Loser has been a cultural and weight loss phenomenon.
Little known fact to some who read this blog – I actually auditioned for Season 8 of the Biggest Loser. I went through several rounds of casting before I got cut — and it was devastating. Truly, I would rank it as one of the top three most disappointing, and in some ways disabling, moments of my life.
In the five years that followed, I picked up on some subtle messages that BL sends the viewers.
You aren’t a winner until you lose the weight. Weight loss is worth any price – loss of dignity, endurance of abuse, ‘playing a game’. Relationships only matter insofar as they benefit your position.
Don’t misunderstand – there are some really positive, life-changing messages, too – and I would jump on that show in one hot second.
But my life goal is not what it was five years ago…my intent is no longer ‘thin’. Now…it’s ‘whole.’