I know, before you even say it, sometimes the ministry spouse is a husband. But I don’t have one of those – so I’m talking about wives. Maybe there’s a similarity with husbands – if you have one, let me know.
Wives make it or break it. Ministry, I mean. A supportive wife who loves God and embraces the ministry call makes ministry an amazingly peaceful and altogether fun job…even when it isn’t. And conversely, a spouse who isn’t happy about being in ministry and isn’t afraid to show it can make the best of church circumstances feel like a punishment.
Regardless of how you identify your wife on that spectrum, make no mistake. She is more important than your church or your ministry. She is more than the best volunteer you ever had. She is more than the mother of your children who raises them while you work on church stuff. She’s more than a financial planner who balances the books and makes sure everything gets paid on the penance you make. She’s more than your dumping ground when things go bad at the deacon meeting.
You know that. But does she?
When was the last time you guilted free babysitting out of one of your students and took your wife out for a picnic? When was the last time you sat at the dinner table after the kids have bounded off for homework and electronics (if you’ve eaten dinner with your family at all) and just looked your wife in the face and listened to her? Really, REALLY listened. (Not that half-way crap you call listening.) When was the last time you did the dishes, swept the dining room, folded the laundry, or made dinner? When was the last time you whispered into her ear all that she is to you while you rubbed her shoulders or massaged her feet or held her hand…and weren’t trying to get sex?
Your wife is more important than church, church work, or the tasks she performs so that you’re a better minister. And you better tell her before she forgets…before you forget.
If your wife happens to hang out on the internet, have her check our GlassHouseSpouse for some encouragement in HER role in ministry.