After making some pretty staunch demands of God – and then realizing what a doofus I am for thinking I can treat God like customer service, I had this thought.
“God, will there every be happy days again.”
I can’t remember a recent day not cloaked in a blanket of stress. I’m not talking about those cheap comforters you get from Wal-Mart. I’m talking about those heavy, home-made blankets your grandma made using corduroy and old blue jeans and lined with flannel.
Most days, even my pores ooze tension – leaching the poison of anger and discontentment into my household. Even Pro-Active ain’t the answer for this acne.
Laughter, though not elusive, has been hollow – void of peace and lacking authentic joy.
I walk this pathetic path again – I have been here before, recently. Not in a deja vu kind of way — but literally, like I can see my shoe prints from just a while back. It’s that road where I wonder if obedience to God has a pay-off beyond the sacrifice of my family and finances. I question whether walking this road has made a significant difference anywhere in this world beyond my own mind. And I start demanding to speak with a supervisor.
Truth is: days might not ever be happy again. Will I continue to trust? Stress may never abate. Will I believe? It might not all ‘work out fine’ like I keep hearing from everyone who says they have walked this similar path. Will I lean on what I know – not how I feel?
Because here is what I know:
Great is His faithfulness – His mercies are new each morning. Lamentation 3.23
Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light. Matthew 11.29-30
The name of the LORD is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe. Proverbs 18.10
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31.8
These things I KNOW about God. Regardless of my circumstance, my weaknesses….regardless of me – He is unwavering.
When we are faithless, He is faithful – for He cannot disown Himself. 2 Timothy 2.13
When you are wondering of there is such a thing as O Happy Day, what truth do you lean on?